Isolated

by Drowning Susan

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04:49
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04:25
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03:53
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04:37
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06:52
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about

26 songs about misanthropy and self loathing..... Looking back, it's all been about a miserable outlook on things...and this is a perfect recap before we turn the page with our next release.

credits

released October 16, 2013

Mark Gerster - vocals + synth + programming + samples
Nick Repeta - programming
Vincent Sparacino - programming + guitar

with contributions from:
Joe Dipasquale (guitar - tracks 17 and 23)
Heidi Casillas (backing vox - track 12)

Spectacular cover photography as always provided by Jessica Ahrens Photography

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Drowning Susan Seattle, Washington

Drowning Susan is Mark R. Gerster, Nick Repeta, and Vincent Sparacino.

"Darkwave meets Electro-Goth". Also described as "blatantly nay-saying pre-apocalyptic electro pop" and has been such on and off since it's inception in 2001.
Sometimes it's "self loathing drudgery"

Mostly its just weird and dark electro rock...
... more

contact / help

Contact Drowning Susan

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Track Name: IF
IF

Primal weakness – self serving in dangerous ways
Incomplete, this – all signs point to end of days

What if all of this had never happened
What if we could choose a different path
Would we still march straight to our destruction
Or maybe finally solve our problems and make this a world we’re proud to have

Maybe all of this is just a dream, a bad bad dream
But what if we wake up to find it’s worse
We’ve become the least that we can be, less than you’ve ever seen
So what if we could find a way to converse

Second chances – Alternates to common place
Transient voices – Deja vois in subtle ways

But what if all of this has already happened
What if we could choose a different path
Would we still march straight to our destruction
Or maybe finally solve our problems and make this a world we’re proud to have

Maybe all of this was meant to be, or so it seems
Maybe it’s our fate to just break down
We’ve become the least that we can be, less than you’ve ever seen
We should be ashamed of ourselves now
Maybe all of this is just a dream, a bad bad dream
But what if we wake up to find it’s worse
We’ve become the least that we can be, less than you’ve ever seen
Maybe we’ll find out what it’s worth
Track Name: DESTROYERS
DESTROYERS
We are the destroyers
We’re the architects of our demise
We break what we’re given
Rip it up and build a world of lies
Remake a simple vision
Bring the dark that best describes our kind
‘Cause we wreck a thing of beauty
Replace it all with black and smoke filled skies

Time that we woke up
We’re caught in a desperate slide
Look at things close up
We smash anything we find
Time will be undone
When there’s nothing left to wreck
The end will finally come
We don’t deserve respect

We could change if we wanted to but we don’t
We destroy just to pass the time
We could make this a better place but we won’t
We’d rather bleed it all bone dry
We could change if we start today if we knew the way
If there was something left to care about
But we can’t face all the harmful ways, all the wasted days
Destruction is what we’re about

We smash anything we find
We are the destroyers
We’re the bringers of the end of time

Time will be undone
When there’s nothing left to wreck
End will finally come

We are the destroyers
We’re the bringers of the end of time
We break what we’re given
Rip it up and build a world with lies
We are the destroyers
We’re the architects of our demise
We wreck a thing of beauty
Bring the dark that best describes our times

We could change if we wanted to but we don’t
Time will be undone
We destroy just to pass the time
We could make this a better place but we won’t
End will finally come
We’d rather bleed it all bone dry
Time will be undone
We could change if we start today if we knew the way
If there was something left to care about
But we can’t face all the harmful ways, all the wasted days
End will finally come
Destruction is what we’re about

We are the destroyers
We’re the architects of our demise
We’re the bringers of the end of time
Track Name: FREAKSHOW
FREAKSHOW
“Whoop it up without any social responsibility for our lives…
We’re going right now through a kind of a lunatic phase”

Product surveys, ringtone culture, custom made to work for you
Get super models, terror alerts, in equal servings from the news
Commercial matters, pitch and spin, financial crisis, what’s the truth?
We’re all obsessed with Charlie Sheen while we ignore a war or two

I think for now I’ll just avoid the fucking freakshow
I think I’ll stay at home and mind my own affairs
I’ve seen enough to know you’re all a bunch of zombies
We’re all corrupt, this world’s fucked up and no one really cares

“These people are living in some sort of never-never land…Of illusions, slogans, passions, convictions – very unrelated to reality”

Interest rates and 3D shopping, Opinion polls, we’re so confused
Restructured debt, convenience store, a Slurpee waiting just for you
Big box items, basement prices, discounts like you’ve never seen
A shiny package sells itself, impulse purchase, feel complete
Movie sequels, repeat patterns, gasoline is priced to move
Legislate away our problems, solve it like we always do
Backroom deals and corporate handshakes sealed with a wink and nod
It’s pay to play, absurd our culture, flying with our blinders on

I think for now I’ll just avoid the fucking freakshow
I think I’ll stay inside and lock all the doors
I’ve seen enough to know you’re all a bunch of morons
We’re all corrupt, this world’s fucked up, it’s rotten to the core

“This is a prescription for social conflict, in addition to economic paralysis”
“You can look out the window and see the top of the hill, where everybody has everything, and they get their pitchfork and decide to try and take the hill”

Add up all the good that you’ve ever done, multiply that amount times 5
Still it’s not enough to change what’s wrong here
Or even make a difference, ‘cause believe me I’ve tried
Add up all the good that you’ve ever done, multiply that amount times 9
(it’s a goddamn mess)
Still it’s not enough to change what’s wrong here
(it’s a goddamn mess)
Or even make a difference, ‘cause believe me I’ve tried
(it’s a goddamn mess)

“Stagnant, social, highly differentiated society”
“The only way to fix it is to address it over and over and over again”

Hyper-contact one another, instant access, think and do
Found a way to ruin mystery, picture and a status too
Social justice, welfare state, healthcare you can pick or choose
They’ll more likely let you die, just as soon as look at you

I think for now I’ll just avoid the fucking freakshow
I think I’ll stay at home and mind my own affairs
I’ve seen enough to know you’re all a bunch of zombies
We’re all corrupt, this world’s fucked up and no one really cares
(it’s a goddamn mess)
I think for now I’ll just avoid the fucking freakshow
(it’s a goddamn mess)
I think I’ll stay inside and lock all the doors
(it’s a goddamn mess)
I’ve seen enough to know you’re all a bunch of morons
(it’s a goddamn mess)
We’re all corrupt, this world’s fucked up, it’s rotten to the core
Track Name: CYNIC
Cynic
We already know that things are awful
And it only gets worse each day
But that’s no excuse not to be thoughtful
And apply a little effort to change
All of this got the way it is
Through general neglect and decay
Maybe if we gave a damn about things
Well, it wouldn’t turn out this way

I can’t defend these modern times
Too much excess corrupts our lives
It falls apart before our eyes
We let it happen, we must be blind

Everything sucks and it’s all your fault
You people just make it worse on yourselves
That’s the truth if it need be told
Wipe the slate clean, start over I know…

I guess I’m a cynic, I guess I gave up
Can’t help but look around and wonder “what the fuck?”
We’ve made a mess of things, I think we’ve done enough
We fucking had our chance and it’s time that we’ve laid off

It’s pretty clear where it all went wrong
Things were fine till we came along
Rinse, repeat, ‘cause it’s always the same
We break, burn down, we smash, decay

Everything sucks and it’s all your fault
You people just make it worse on yourselves
That’s the truth if it need be told
Wipe the slate clean, start over I know…

I guess I’m a cynic, I guess I gave up
Can’t help but look around and wonder “what the fuck?”
We’ve made a mess of things, I think we’ve done enough
We fucking had our chance, it’s time that we’ve laid off
I can’t defend these modern times
Too much excess corrupts our lives
It falls apart before our eyes
We let it happen, we must be blind

Maybe you’re all just dumb (we must be blind)
Can’t be I’m the only one who sees

I guess I’m a cynic, I guess I gave up
Track Name: SIGNS
Signs
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time – no sense agitating
don’t worry your pretty little mind – this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Seems to me that there are things that go unnoticed through our day
a slice of shadow, a slight of hand in which the darkness plays
like we all know that things are ending but unwilling to say
that it’s complete, the end, fini, we can’t accept decay
Plain as can be you chose to ignore
What’s right before you, I’ve said it before
There’s a reason things are falling apart
But you refused to listen right from the start
Explain the truth you’re seeking – what kind of statement will suffice?
What form of deluded thinking provides the answers that you’d like?
It’s clear you gave up making any attempt to do what’s right
and as a population, you really disappoint.
You won’t believe until the whole damn world comes down upon your door
that darkness lurking there, emerges now and hides no more
escape from ignorance, the curtain drawn reveals beyond its frame
a world that’s drowned in sickness, a world that’s lost in hate
Plain as can be you chose to ignore
What’s right before you, I’ve said it before
There’s a reason things are falling apart
But you refused to listen right from the start
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time
no sense agitating – don’t worry your pretty little mind
this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Seems to me that there are things that go unnoticed through our day - a slice of shadow,
a slight of hand in which the darkness plays - like we all know that things are ending but
unwilling to say that it’s complete, the end, fini, we can’t accept decay
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time no sense agitating – don’t worry
your pretty little mind - this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Track Name: HOW YOU SEE YOURSELVES
how you see yourselves

I rise with weary eyes and pretend it’s a world worth facing – sometimes I empathize, most days it just seems degrading – it’s the same routine each day, it tends to wear me down - I try to close my eyes, escape from here and go calm down –

I try to close my eyes and pretend that I’m just dreaming - but the world’s just too fucked up – at some point I just stopped believing – all the propaganda and trash – doled out, spoon fed each day – for all the mindless masses – self obsessed unknowing slaves –

make it all slow down, make it all slow down –

I try to close my eyes and pretend that no one’s near me – but when I sober up I realize that I’m not dreaming – this world’s a total disgrace – we watched it go hell – our stagnant population lives to buy and sell –

it’s time we all woke up – look past our padded cells – is this what you want? – is this how you see yourselves? – I try to close my eyes – pretend that I’m just dreaming – but the world’s just too fucked up – at some point I just stopped believing - I wish they’d all go away - I wish they’d leave me alone – I try to close my eyes but the voice inside my head won’t go (make it all slow down) –

I wish they’d all go away - I wish they’d leave me alone – I try to close my eyes but the voice inside my head won’t go

(make it all slow down) –
make it all slow down –

I rise with weary eyes and pretend it’s a world worth facing – sometimes I empathize, most days it just seems degrading – it’s the same routine each day, it tends to wear me down - escape from here and go calm down
Track Name: ANTHILL (The Worker Ant Mix)
Anthill

a step toward resolution – a look so near, decide – a sonic repetition is not what makes it mine – mine is a logical step back – mine is a fated find – mine deals with constant setback – mine is a step beyond

the anthill running rampant, human nightmare on display and the useless information overflows inside our brains – looks like cattle moving slowly, take a number for a name and insanity looks more attractive each and every day - insanity looks more attractive each and every day –

we sold our souls to buy some time, never thought to stop and question why – question why –

retrograde the steep decent and glimpse the liquid eye – I remit my paucity and I’ve made up my mind – I’ll slip away to unbecome, to ponder my demise and cry for my epiphany, discover the surprise –

the anthill running rampant, human nightmare on display and the useless information overflows inside our brains – looks like cattle moving slowly, take a number for a name and insanity looks more attractive each and every day - insanity looks more attractive each and every day –

we sold our souls to buy some time, never thought to stop and question why – question why –

the anthill running rampant, human nightmare on display and the useless information overflows inside our brains – looks like cattle moving slowly, take a number for a name and insanity looks more attractive each and every day
Track Name: CHOICES
Choices
We poison water, we darken skies
We stifle laughter, we smother cries
We torture suspects, start wars with lies
We drug ourselves, we’re along for the ride
We’re filled with sadness but we say we’re fine
We hoard possessions as we proclaim “mine”
We wrecked our world and we kill mankind
We can’t let it continue so you must decide

Is this world worth saving as a whole?
‘cause it’s up to you to fix what’s broke
If the humans stand a chance they must mend their ways
And they’d better start soon before it’s too late

Is this world worth saving as a whole
We poison water, we darken skies
‘cause it’s up to you to fix what’s broke
We stifle laughter, we smother cries
If the humans stand a chance they must mend their ways
We torture suspects, start wars with lies
And they’d better start soon before it’s too late
We’re filled with sadness but we say we’re fine
And they’d better start soon before it’s too late
We wrecked our world and we kill mankind
It’s too late
Track Name: HUMANS
HUMANS
Let’s face it: two is a crowd and three is unseemly
Add any more, you’re a mob, and they run amok easy
It takes a greater strength than I’ve found to be around people
It takes a leap of faith so profound to make them even seem real

You know you gotta hate some, on mankind
Before you can understand the slant of my perspective and why
I gave up all hope for their plans
It only leads to madness to think that you can conquer the world
It only takes a human-like trait to poison the well for us all

It’s time we faced the facts, Our species is awful
But we persist in spite all of that, still our future is doubtful
Cause your intentions are far from pure and your methods deemed unsound
We forgot what it was to be sure, we’re to reckless while earth bound

You know you gotta hate some, on mankind
Before you can understand the slant of my perspective and why
I gave up all hope for their plans
It only leads to madness to think that you can conquer the world
It only takes a human-like trait to poison the well for us all

You people are the worst, You’re too much to bear
You can call me misanthropic, I don’t care, I don’t care
Track Name: HOPE
Hope
With all your high hopes and all your pipe dreams
You’re so deluded it’s so exhausting
Although the daydreams really don’t excite me
Low expectations: the only way to right things
See there’s nothing left to hope for
And we should all just learn to embrace the end
If you’re wondering how you’ll cope, well
Maybe you can start by eliminating false pretense

It won’t be okay, I don’t care what you say

Anticipation, the impact will be frightening
When all your prospects that used to seem inviting
Replaced by doubt no more at ease a tight line
You’re losing value closer to the deadline
See there’s nothing left to hope for
And we should all just learn to embrace the end
If you’re wondering how you’ll cope, well
It’s pretty much determined that you failed, so just face the facts
I don’t care how much it hurts ‘cause
All your whining won’t help for the wounds to mend
So play the victim all you want, well
You may as well give up, say your prayers, let the world cave in

It won’t be okay, I don’t care what you say

I don’t care how much it hurts ‘cause
All your whining won’t help for the wounds to mend
So play the victim all you want, well
You may as well give up, say your prayers, let the world cave in

With all your high hopes and all your pipe dreams
You’re so deluded it’s so exhausting
Although the daydreams really don’t excite me
Low expectations: the only way to right things

See there’s nothing left to hope for
And we should all just learn to embrace the end
If you’re wondering how you’ll cope, well
Maybe you can start by eliminating false pretense
I don’t care how much it hurts ‘cause
All your whining won’t help for the wounds to mend
So play the victim all you want, well
You may as well give up, say your prayers, let the world cave in
The day will come when you wise up and
You’ll be joining us waiting for the world to end
You can still pretend if you want to
Our certainty of course assures reality soon sets in
Track Name: AMERICA
America
Feels like it’s 1984
Looks like George Orwell’s right
You can’t be alone anymore so
You’d better watch what you say
The walls have ears
Turns out your government’s been listening in, all these years
They hear what you say
They see what you do
And now they’re after you

You are not normal
You are sick
You’ve always been sick
A rotten apple from the start

Run, they’re coming for you!

No doubt they’re watching you all day
On camera everywhere, while at work and while at play
They know every move you make so you’d best behave
There’s no pretending now, they’ve got it all right here on tape
They hear what you say
They see what you do
And now they’re after you

You are not normal
You are sick
You’ve always been sick
A rotten apple from the start

Run, they’re coming for you!

They hear what you say
They see what you do
And now they’re after you
Track Name: SELF-PRESRIBED (The Pills 2.2 Mix)
“gotta get a grip on myself” - take the pill, like the pill – brighter days are on the way – a summer sun is rising – and all this trash gets sweep away – we’ll finally realize that something’s wrong in modern times – cause we’re all hopped up and don’t know why – we can’t relax, no - we can’t sit still and we can’t keep taking these fucking pills - take the pills, like the pills – why did you have to abuse me? - something’s wrong in modern times – cause we’re all hopped up and don’t know why – we can’t relax, no - we can’t sit still and we can’t keep taking these fucking pills - take the pill, like the pill - brighter days are on the way - brighter days are on the way - can’t relax no we can’t sit still and can’t relax no - can’t relax, no - take the pill, like the pill
Track Name: FILTH
Filth

We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that

We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck (enough’s enough)
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck (enough’s enough)
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash (enough’s enough)
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that

Why can’t you see that you’re all fucked
Let’s make it crystal clear in a way that you can realize
‘cause I wish you knew how bad you sucked
I feel like the only one who hasn’t lost his fucking mind

We’re on a path to kingdom come
A giant clock is ticking and when it’s done we’re out of time
And we won’t stop till this blows up
We won’t take notice till everything we know has died

Erase the world that we’ve built up
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come kill us now ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)
Turn out the lights and pull the plug
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come purge this place ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)

We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck (enough’s enough)
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck (enough’s enough)
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash (enough’s enough)
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that

You’re a bunch of crazy motherfuckers
It’s just a question of which one of you will light the fuse
Hellbent on eliminating one another
You’ll get us all killed soon so I don’t know, what’s the use?
May as well embrace the coming carnage
Pull up a chair, a front row seat and enjoy the show
It’s not my fate they’re holding hostage
It’s complete collapse of everything and now it’s time to watch it go

Erase the world that we’ve built up
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come kill us now ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)
Turn out the lights and pull the plug
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come purge this place ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)

Enough’s enough

We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that
I’ll say it again…
We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that

Erase this world that we’ve built up
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come kill us now ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)
Turn out the lights and pull the plug
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come purge this place ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)
Erase the world that we’ve built up
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Come kill us now ‘cause enough’s enough
(it’s over, we’re suicide, we’re death in living and it’s no surprise)
Come kill us now ‘cause enough’s enough
(take cover, get supplies, the end is coming, the end is nigh)
Enough’s enough

We kill, destroy, we burn, we suck
What we don’t smash, we try to fuck
We’re filth, we’re dirt, we’re less than trash
Well the end is coming you can all be sure of that…
Track Name: METROPOLIS
the days become events to you – the way around is to stare it down through – scattered thoughts on second time viewed – and felt between us – a sideways glance you – we all become dissolved within the sinking sense beneath our skin – and when outside our pain divides then we become machine decline –

talk all you want ‘cause no one’s listening – say what you will but it’s always gonna be like this – it’s a pattern of behavior, I keep insisting – nothing’s gonna change if we can’t even coexist –

just keep on walking – don’t look back – just keep on moving – and forget the past – “thinking in circles” – no, it don’t matter now – it don’t matter now – look at their eyes – the pain, the failure, out of time –

time is up then how will you tell – if then is now then we’ve earned our hell – we all become obsessed again – that slinky sense beneath our skins – and once outside the pain divides – beauty holds it by her side – I am again deplete inside – I have become machine decline –

talk all you want ‘cause no one’s listening – say what you will but it’s always gonna be like this – it’s a pattern of behavior, I keep insisting – nothing’s gonna change if we can’t even coexist -

when time is up then how will you tell – if then is now then we’ve earned our hell – it don’t matter now –

the days become events to you – the way around is to stare it down through – scattered thoughts on second time viewed – and felt between us – a sideways glance you – we all become dissolved within the sinking sense beneath our skin – and when outside the pain divides we become machine decline –

talk all you want ‘cause no one’s listening – say what you will but it’s always gonna be like this – it’s a pattern of behavior, I keep insisting – nothing’s gonna change if we can’t even coexist - it don’t matter now - talk all you want ‘cause no one’s listening – say what you will but it’s always gonna be like this – it’s a pattern of behavior, I keep insisting – nothing’s gonna change if we can’t even coexist – we become machine decline – no it don’t matter now
Track Name: CONTROL
Control

I look at my life like it doesn’t really matter at all
I’ve applied myself but recently my efforts have stalled
You shared my apathy and reinforced this sad lack of drive
You watched me lose myself, become the very thing I despise
My false complacency
I’m fake, I’m make believe
Nothing ‘bout it seems real to me
Can’t take myself seriously
Without control, I lack control
There must be some good reason why I act the way that I do
Lack of sincerity up to this point is what’s got me through
I’ve said a thousand things I didn’t mean, in words I deplore
I’ve been so sickening sweet, I think I might just rot at the core
I’ll put it blatantly
I’m fake, I’m make believe
What you see’s not really me
It’s my attempt to be pc
I need control, I want control, I lack control, I’ll take control
I’ve become so sheltered, my thoughts are solely self consumed
So lost in my own life, can’t give a second thought to you
I’ve gone to such extents that coming back is too far to go
I’m more uniquely troubled than you’ll ever wish to know
My tolerance is waning, My patience running thin
My self-disgust is rising, I’m rotting from within
I can’t hold back these words, these things I wish to say
But rest yourself assured, I’ll unload one day
In all sincerity
I’m fake, I’m make believe
Nothing ‘bout it seems real to me
Can’t take myself seriously
Without control, I lack control, I lack control, I’ll take control
Track Name: MIRROR
mirror
“over and over” “I’ve made my mistakes” – I, I never wanna be like you – eclectic cause you think you’re cool – always doing what they say – try to ring it – go away – you’re jaded and you’re full of spite – you’re the only one who thinks you’re right – you talk as if you think you know – but you’d rather really gain control - “over and over” “cause people have gotta know” – no harsh reflection this time – no pretension, you might ask why – just too stupid to ask for help – just too ugly to see yourself – “and I welcome this kind of examination because people have gotta know” – we all ignore our problems - “I’ve made my mistakes” “over and over” – I , I never wanna be like you - doing what they tell me to – just a tool of the inept hand – your ego’s really out of hand – its a system that just keeps us down, its a circle going round and round – and I’ve had as much as I can stand – always doing what they’ve planned - no harsh reflection this time – no pretension, you might ask why – just too stupid to ask for help – just too ugly to see yourself – “and I think too that I can say that I’ve made my mistakes” - its a system that just keeps us down, its a circle going round and round - “over and over” - I, I don’t wanna be like you – eclectic cause you think you’re cool – always doing what they say – try to ring it – go away - we all ignore our problems - “over and over”
Track Name: REPAIR
Repair

I need to be distracted in some way – can’t stop thinking ‘bout decisions I’ve made
I need some interaction today – I can’t keep sitting here obsessing away
it used to be that things were simple – they used to weigh less on my mind
but it’s much different as I get older – there’s a vast array of things I’ve destroyed

It takes much more restraint than it ever did before
just to maintain a straight face or to even venture out the door
a quick look back reveals I’m no better off than I was before
so it seems that all I learn from year to year is how broken I am, for sure…
i need repair

Every situation degrades and I can feel reality slipping away
I need it disassembled in my way – or else it won’t fit back together the same
I used to wish that life was simple – but now I find I’m hoping we’ll die
I’ve come to learn and love that mindset – now I just ignore you all the time

It takes much more restraint than it ever did before
just to sit and listen to the same old record, tales of yore
each year that passes by leaves me less impressed I’m sure
it’s likely time I learned to let it go, accept once more…
i need repair

Repair (what’s left of me)
Replace (the hate in me)
Remake (my history)
Retask (me, just for you)

It takes much more restraint than it ever did before
just to maintain a straight face or to even venture out the door
a quick look back reveals i’m no better off than I was before
so it seems that all I learn from year to year is how broken I am, for sure
Track Name: WANT
Want

Can’t go on pretending
That we don’t notice this
We’re something more than meets the eye
‘cause there’s a hunger there
that draws us both together
though we can’t understand the reasons why

I feel electric when you’re near me
The room becomes this fading thing
The world melts, the light recedes
The motion, like ebbing of seas
It’s pushed it’self upon us
So I gave in to it’s urgency

I keep wondering
Just how it could be
I’d be drawn to you and maybe
You’d be drawn to me
However this came to be,
Let’s try it on for size
Let’s see where it will go at least

It’s a time bomb, baby
Just waiting to blow
We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go
A time bomb, baby
Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away
Find out if it was meant to be

See the want in your eyes sometimes
See the lust when you’re looking at me
See the truth when I look back at you
Get a taste of things and how it could be
Feel the warmth when I move beside you
Feel how hot the fire could be
What if we should come together?
We’d fit so easily

It’s a time bomb, baby
Just waiting to blow
We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go
A time bomb, baby
Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away
Find out if it was meant to be
A time bomb, baby
You can feel it, you know
We don’t have much longer
Before time this all explodes
A time bomb, baby
We’re targets you see
So take my hand, we’ll run away
Leave the world behind
It could be that easy
Want (it’s complicated)
Want (it’s not so easy)
Want (to lose yourself, to let it go, to be with me)
Want you here with me
Want (it’s complicated)
Want (it’s not so easy)
Want (to lose yourself, to let it go, to be with me)
Want you here with me

It’s a time bomb, baby
Just waiting to blow
We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go
A time bomb, baby
Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away
Find out if it was meant to be
A time bomb, baby

There are:
10 different reasons why you can’t be mine, yet
9 of them are useless and
8 I’ve already tried and
7 different ways that this could turn out but only
6 will remain if you get up and go now, there were
5 different times we’ve had this moment be
4 us at
3 a.m. dreamt I’d said it before, there were
2 many times we let this moment slip by, now the time has come, so we should be
1

It’s a time bomb, baby
Just waiting to blow
We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go
A time bomb, baby
Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away
Find out if it was meant to be
A time bomb, baby
You can feel it, you know
We don’t have much longer
Before time this all explodes
A time bomb, baby
We’re targets you see
So take my hand, we’ll run away
Leave the world behind
It could be that easy
Track Name: NOTHING
Nothing

I’ll ask you to stay,
I’ll beg and I’ll plead
Until there’s nothing left of me.
But now that you’re gone
I don’t know what I believe
It’s the same old tragedy
You thought you were right in what you should do
Until you learned they’d lied to you
What if I wasn’t wrong? What if wishes come true?
What if I was meant for you?

Don’t you say you don’t want it,
Don’t you say you don’t need
Me
I’m nothing without you
With so much lost
And so much to gain
I’m still nothing without you

So life will go on and life will proceed
But it doesn’t mean a thing to me
If you’re not here it’s just an empty belief
And I can’t believe in just me
I stayed up all night wondering what I should do
And now I think it’s time for you
To sort it all out and to think it all through
Cause what if I was meant for you?

Don’t you say you don’t want it,
Don’t you say you don’t need
Me
I’m nothing without you
With so much lost
And so much to gain
I’m still nothing without you

Don’t you say you don’t want it,
Don’t you say you don’t need
Me
I’m nothing without you
With so much lost
And so much to gain
I’m still nothing without you

So don’t go, please stay
Don’t leave me this way
Alone and feeling betrayed
Don’t go, just stay
Don’t walk away
How could you treat me this way?

Don’t you say you don’t want it,
Don’t you say you don’t need
Me
I’m nothing without you
With so much lost
And so much to gain
I’m still nothing without you
Track Name: BLAME
Blame
It’s been a few months now - and all our dreams are sold – not sure how this should be portrayed
despite my own missteps – your moves were awfully bold – not quite so subtle anyway
I don’t pretend to judge – you’ve got your life to live – and why should your wants be delayed
but oh my god you’re fast – you up and packed your shit – got in the car drove away….well,

blame me - and no one else – if you cant blame yourself - if you can’t face what’s left inside
blame me – I’ve been no help – I left you by yourself - how could I expect that you’d stay mine
blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself – ‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self – I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried

I know it’s all my fault – I know I drove you off – with inconsistent moody ways – but no amount of hurt
no amount of wrong – explains how quick I was replaced (and in what way) – you make me wonder if
you planned it all along – how long in plotting your escape?
So when you think of me – now that you’re good as gone – do you feel love, regret or hate?

blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself – ‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self – I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried

blame me - and no one else – if you cant blame yourself - if you can’t face what’s left inside
blame me – I’ve been no help – I left you by yourself - how could I expect that you’d stay mine
blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself
‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self
I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried
blame me
blame me
Track Name: EXPLODE YOUR LIFE
Explode Your Life

I get the feeling that my heart’s grown cold – that my love’s grown old - it ain’t getting any younger – the way you answer me with such distain – it only kills the flame and makes the room grow colder – anytime you see my face you don’t seem glad to see me – I think I’ve finally worn on you – and if you’re gonna be like that – if you’re gonna hate me – here’s what you oughta do: Explode Your Life – you know that feeling when you first wake up? – you try to focus your thoughts and the world’s all blurry – well it’s kinda like I felt like that and now it’s clearing up and the haze is lifting – it’s plain right here for all to see – that’s all that’s left of you and me is a semblance of a former life – I think it’s time I took control – took my life off hold – and explored a different path tonight: I’ll Explode My Life – you should end it all if you’re so unhappy – rearrange the pieces till they’re less maddening – take it all apart and find what’s hurting – know it wont last cause you’re not deserving – the fundamental fact is I’m not uncaring – just better off in a life more daring – this whole damn thing is why – each time: I Explode My Life
Track Name: UNRESOLVED
Unresolved

all the pain, it lasts too long - peace of mind is not mine to find in a world that’s yours, not mine – and I don’t want to be in control, I just need a life of my own – everything’s now cast aside, what was mine is now left behind – light I saw once in your eyes, has turned around and left me blind – if you leave then I can be free but would I still want to be just me and if you leave, will I want you back? – I don’t ever want to feel like that – decision made, division hurts – all this time I never learned – division made, decision wrong - all the pain, it lasts too long – I’m afraid I’ll never (you let me know) - you can say this is all my fault but the blame is not mine alone – made a choice that I can’t erase, see the shame lies on my face - could I change what I said, I would but pure desire doesn’t mean I should – it doesn’t matter, anything I say, when I decide it’s all thrown away – “I’m trapped” - decision made, division hurts – all this time I never learned – division made, decision wrong - all the pain, it lasts too long – it lasts too long - I’m afraid I’ll never learn - I’ll never learn - all the pain lasts too long
Track Name: HORIZON
Horizon

time to get up again - back into circulation
it’s like I’ve always said,
all bad things come back around
without your presence here this feels like suffication
so having realized that,
I think it’s time that I get long gone
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back
I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here - there’s no reason that I can’t
nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last
find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons
I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back
if you’re smart you’ll come
and put this all behind you somehow
It’s probably not this place, it’s clearly my frustration - the way in which things went and how they let me down
although I’d love to say that’s my interpretation, it’s fairly plain to all I ran this whole thing to the ground
So now it’s underway I’ll find a new location - Somewhere less populated where the world won’t come around
I think before too long I’ll find the motivation - I’ll find my shangri la and by the time you’re back, I’ll be gone
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back - I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here there’s no reason that I can’t - nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last - find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons
I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back - if you’re smart you’ll come and put this all behind you somehow
nothing i cant replace - no reason left to stay - no bonds i need to break - no reason not to leave right now
time to get up again - back into circulation - it’s like I’ve always said, all bad things come back around
It’s probably not this place, it’s clearly my frustration - the way in which things went and how they let me down
although I’d love to say that’s my interpretation
it’s fairly plain to all I ran this
whole thing to the ground
So now it’s underway I’ll find a new location
Somewhere less populated
where the world won’t come around
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back
I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here there’s no reason that I can’t
nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons - I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back - if you’re smart you’ll
come and put this all behind you somehow
Track Name: THINGS THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE
things you can’t have

so concerned with what to buy and shiny like objects that catch your eye – just like a clock it’s synchronized – you hear that voice inside your mind – it’s just a hint of OCD – so you can’t let it go and you can’t let it be – you want what you want like it’s destiny and nothing else can put your mind at ease –

there was a time and a place where this would have worked – but everything has changed now, it’s never gonna be like before –
there’s always something that you want that you’ll never have and try as you might you can’t be happy anymore –

you need a fix to make the day go by and all confused by your own mind and many little reasons to run and hide - it’s torn apart and


patience is something that you never seemed to understand and waiting your turn, well the concept is so foreign to you – you need it now so you take whatever you can get – as soon as it’s gone then I wonder what you’re gonna do –

I obsess over all the things I can’t have, do you obsess over all the things you can’t have? –

so concerned with what to buy and shiny like objects that catch your eye – just like a clock it’s synchronized – you hear that voice inside your mind – it’s just a hint of OCD – so you can’t let it go and you can’t let it be – you want what you want like it’s destiny and nothing else can put your mind at ease –
Track Name: I DESPISE (EVERYONE I KNOW)
I Despise (Everyone I Know)
You seem to think I care but I don’t
You seem to think I’ll listen but I won’t
Sometimes I’m just too shy to open up
So you’ll never really know what I thought

I would have thought that you’d have figure it out by now
by now
I would have thought that you’d have figure it out by now

Do you need me to tell you? Do you need me to tell you?

It’s too bad I can’t stand you
It’s too bad, I don’t like you
It’s too bad I can’t stand you
It’s too bad, I don’t like you

I disguise everything I feel
I despise everyone I know
I disguise everything I (really) think
I despise every place I (seem to) go