Repair

by Drowning Susan

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about

Features: 'Want', 'My Own Summer (Shove It) - a Deftones cover' and Signs.
Originally intended to be a remix and cover song EP that was to follow up Explode Your Life, Drowning Susan's 3rd full length album, Repair, quickly steamrolled into a full album in it's own right. Repair draws its influences from a wider range of pop and electronica and only hints at the sound that came to evolve through 2011. As the first DS release to actually be mastered, there is a huge jump forward in sound quality while the music itself starts to show a more refined and determined effort while still maintaining a dark goth industrial dance influence.

credits

released March 15, 2011

Cover photo by Jessica Ahrens Photography.
www.facebook.com/JessicaAhrensPhotography
www.jessicaahrensphotography.com

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about

Drowning Susan Seattle, Washington

Drowning Susan is Mark R. Gerster, Nick Repeta, and Vincent Sparacino.

"Darkwave meets Electro-Goth". Also described as "blatantly nay-saying pre-apocalyptic electro pop" and has been such on and off since it's inception in 2001.
Sometimes it's "self loathing drudgery"

Mostly its just weird and dark electro rock...
... more

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Track Name: Blame
It’s been a few months now - and all our dreams are sold – not sure how this should be portrayed
despite my own missteps – your moves were awfully bold – not quite so subtle anyway
I don’t pretend to judge – you’ve got your life to live – and why should your wants be delayed
but oh my god you’re fast – you up and packed your shit – got in the car drove away….well,

blame me - and no one else – if you cant blame yourself - if you can’t face what’s left inside
blame me – I’ve been no help – I left you by yourself - how could I expect that you’d stay mine
blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself – ‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self – I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried

I know it’s all my fault – I know I drove you off – with inconsistent moody ways – but no amount of hurt
no amount of wrong – explains how quick I was replaced (and in what way) – you make me wonder if
you planned it all along – how long in plotting your escape?
So when you think of me – now that you’re good as gone – do you feel love, regret or hate?

blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself – ‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self – I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried

blame me - and no one else – if you cant blame yourself - if you can’t face what’s left inside
blame me – I’ve been no help – I left you by yourself - how could I expect that you’d stay mine
blame me – I’ve been through hell – just like I blame myself
‘cause I can’t fix what’s broke inside
blame me – my martyred self
I’m mostly hurt, not help - no one can say I ever tried
blame me
blame me
Track Name: Signs
Signs
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time – no sense agitating
don’t worry your pretty little mind – this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Seems to me that there are things that go unnoticed through our day
a slice of shadow, a slight of hand in which the darkness plays
like we all know that things are ending but unwilling to say
that it’s complete, the end, fini, we can’t accept decay
Plain as can be you chose to ignore
What’s right before you, I’ve said it before
There’s a reason things are falling apart
But you refused to listen right from the start
Explain the truth you’re seeking – what kind of statement will suffice?
What form of deluded thinking provides the answers that you’d like?
It’s clear you gave up making any attempt to do what’s right
and as a population, you really disappoint.
You won’t believe until the whole damn world comes down upon your door
that darkness lurking there, emerges now and hides no more
escape from ignorance, the curtain drawn reveals beyond its frame
a world that’s drowned in sickness, a world that’s lost in hate
Plain as can be you chose to ignore
What’s right before you, I’ve said it before
There’s a reason things are falling apart
But you refused to listen right from the start
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time
no sense agitating – don’t worry your pretty little mind
this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Seems to me that there are things that go unnoticed through our day - a slice of shadow,
a slight of hand in which the darkness plays - like we all know that things are ending but
unwilling to say that it’s complete, the end, fini, we can’t accept decay
It’s been out there waiting – It’s been out there all this time no sense agitating – don’t worry
your pretty little mind - this thing’s deteriorating while you’re still looking for a sign
if there’s a grander scheming, there’s no intelligent design
Track Name: My Own Summer (Shove It) - a Deftones cover
My Own Summer (Shove It) - a Deftones cover

Hey you, big star - tell me, when it’s over (Cloud)
Hey You, big mood - Guide me to shelter
Cause I’m through when the two hits the six and it’s summer (Cloud)
Come (Shove It)
Shove (Shove It)
The Sun (Shove It)
Aside (Shove It Aside)
I think god is moving it’s tongue
There’s no crowd in the streets
and no sun, in my own summer

The shade is a tool - A device, a savior
See I try and look up to the sky - But my eyes burn (Cloud)
Come (Shove It)
Shove (Shove It)
The Sun (Shove It)
Aside (Shove It Aside)
I think god is moving it’s tongue
There’s no crowd in the streets
and no sun, in my own summer
Come (Shove It)
Shove (Shove It)
The Sun (Shove It)
Aside (Shove It Aside)
Track Name: Apology (Reprise)
Apology (Reprise)

I wouldn't have thought you'd feel this way
but it's clear that I misspoke
no I hadn't foreseen the offense you'd take
now I'm more sorry than you could know
there's no reason to think I said it in hate
sometimes I speak before I'm sold
I was just thinking out loud in my own way
and now I'm more sorry than you could know

I wouldn't have thought you'd feel this way
but it's clear that I misspoke
no I hadn't foreseen the offense you'd take
now I'm more sorry than you could know
there's no reason to think I said it in hate
sometimes I speak before I'm sold
I was just thinking out loud in my own way
and now I'm more sorry than you could know
Track Name: Lifeguard
Lifeguard

You must have really been dying on the inside
to go to such extents - They must have really hurt you
The way you walked straight out, right into high tide
Complete and utter disregard for the harm it would do
I could tell you were disturbed even before it happened
Your face lacked emotion and your eyes appeared subdued
It’s as if you now belonged in the deep end
You didn’t even struggle as the current took you

I can’t save you – You’ve drifted too far out
I can’t save you – I can’t even save myself
I can’t save you – It’s not really what I do
I can’t save you
I don’t think you want me to
Wave your hand
Say goodbye.
You are going under

You must have truly given up on contentment
Your determination really came through
From the shore I simply watched with amazement
As you moved out further till I couldn’t see you
Could it be that you have always had a death wish?
That this was bound to happen no matter what I do
Or was there maybe some method to prevent this?
I guess we’ll never know, we will never have a clue

I can’t save you – You’ve drifted too far out
I can’t save you – I can’t even save myself
I can’t save you – It’s not really what I do
I can’t save you – I don’t think you want me to
Wave your hand
Say goodbye.
You are going under
Track Name: Horizon
Horizon

time to get up again - back into circulation
it’s like I’ve always said,
all bad things come back around
without your presence here this feels like suffication
so having realized that,
I think it’s time that I get long gone
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back
I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here - there’s no reason that I can’t
nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last
find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons
I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back
if you’re smart you’ll come
and put this all behind you somehow
It’s probably not this place, it’s clearly my frustration - the way in which things went and how they let me down
although I’d love to say that’s my interpretation, it’s fairly plain to all I ran this whole thing to the ground
So now it’s underway I’ll find a new location - Somewhere less populated where the world won’t come around
I think before too long I’ll find the motivation - I’ll find my shangri la and by the time you’re back, I’ll be gone
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back - I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here there’s no reason that I can’t - nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last - find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons
I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back - if you’re smart you’ll come and put this all behind you somehow
nothing i cant replace - no reason left to stay - no bonds i need to break - no reason not to leave right now
time to get up again - back into circulation - it’s like I’ve always said, all bad things come back around
It’s probably not this place, it’s clearly my frustration - the way in which things went and how they let me down
although I’d love to say that’s my interpretation
it’s fairly plain to all I ran this
whole thing to the ground
So now it’s underway I’ll find a new location
Somewhere less populated
where the world won’t come around
so I’m leaving here and I’m never coming back
I’ll be so far gone, over the vast horizon
I’m leaving here there’s no reason that I can’t
nothing here to miss, nothing left I care about
I’m leaving here ‘cause nothing seems to last find a way to move myself beyond my lost horizons - I’m leaving here and I’m never looking back - if you’re smart you’ll
come and put this all behind you somehow
Track Name: Control
Control

I look at my life like it doesn’t really matter at all
I’ve applied myself but recently my efforts have stalled
You shared my apathy and reinforced this sad lack of drive
You watched me lose myself, become the very thing I despise
My false complacency
I’m fake, I’m make believe
Nothing ‘bout it seems real to me
Can’t take myself seriously
Without control, I lack control
There must be some good reason why I act the way that I do
Lack of sincerity up to this point is what’s got me through
I’ve said a thousand things I didn’t mean, in words I deplore
I’ve been so sickening sweet, I think I might just rot at the core
I’ll put it blatantly
I’m fake, I’m make believe
What you see’s not really me
It’s my attempt to be pc
I need control, I want control, I lack control, I’ll take control
I’ve become so sheltered, my thoughts are solely self consumed
So lost in my own life, can’t give a second thought to you
I’ve gone to such extents that coming back is too far to go
I’m more uniquely troubled than you’ll ever wish to know
My tolerance is waning, My patience running thin
My self-disgust is rising, I’m rotting from within
I can’t hold back these words, these things I wish to say
But rest yourself assured, I’ll unload one day
In all sincerity
I’m fake, I’m make believe
Nothing ‘bout it seems real to me
Can’t take myself seriously
Without control, I lack control, I lack control, I’ll take control
Track Name: Death - a Skinny Puppy cover
Death - a Skinny Puppy cover

holding his hands dream the whole week radiance hissing rodent speak
elective evil once started shot struck home so it goes
inches towards flattened back on all fours drawn and racked
doesn't mean a thing
nature perverts itself so it goes so what the hell let it grow
regret so full of haste coming clear piss in blood no one should ever have to
cut assemble resembled played out wording disturbing
quiet saying elaying a message raising cain's revenge
got a few no fucking whacked house of cards dealing smack
crimson scolding driving told I’m never holding one thing back
credit full of nothing slither here one thing back
licking dogs no hook no song feeling high fantasize
wonder why suck them dry choppy waves take a dive
crash enable disabled effect not carried no power in
quiet playing resaying never more never again
distort the monomaniac delivering the blow core rotten bone
distort the monomaniac black mass held upon the radio
doesn't mean a thing be it what or ever could doesn't mean a thing
sinister creation doesn't mean a thing evocation of the dead
moses forbidding it doesn't mean a thing
worm like ticking art worth shit
we play upon the things we fear
the smell is foul where does it fit
screw yourself
go screw yourself
no one should ever have to
how do you sleep when it’s still alive
never to deep take a look inside
Track Name: E.S.T. - a White Lies cover
E.S.T. - a White Lies cover

If you tell me to jump then I’ll die - In my dreams I’m there
I always hoped that I’d learn how to fly - In my dreams I’m there
You can tie my hands to the walls but you can’t tie my dreams to this place
I might fall like a rock from your heart but you won’t see me fall from grace

Fate always loses hope
Like electric sparks in my heart
Fate always loses hope
Now be a good girl and do what you’re told

If you tell me to jump then I’ll die
In my dreams I’m there
I always hoped that I’d learn how to fly
In my dreams I’m there
I leave my memoirs in blood on the floor and my fears
with the nurse on the stairs
I’m only going where you’ll be some day so don’t say
rest in peace in your prayers
Fate always loses hope
Like electric sparks in my heart
Fate always loses hope
Now be a good girl and do what you’re told

I hope you remember me - I hope you never pretend for me
I hope you remember me - I hope you
I hope you remember me - I hope you never pretend for me
I hope you remember me - I hope you

Fate always loses hope
Like electric sparks in my heart
Fate always loses hope
Now be a good girl and do what you’re told

I hope you remember me - I hope you never pretend for me
I hope you remember me - I hope you never forget about me
I hope you remember me - I hope you never pretend for me
I hope you remember me - I hope you
Track Name: Want (the Retro Pop mix)
Want

Can’t go on pretending - That we don’t notice this
We’re something more than meets the eye - ‘cause there’s a hunger there
that draws us both together - though we can’t understand the reasons why
I feel electric when you’re near me - The room becomes this fading thing
The world melts, the light recedes - The motion, like ebbing of seas
It’s pushed itself upon us - So I gave in to it’s urgency
I keep wondering - Just how it could be - I’d be drawn to you and maybe
You’d be drawn to me - However this came to be - Let’s try it on for size
Let’s see where it will go at least

It’s a time bomb, baby - Just waiting to blow - We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go - A time bomb, baby - Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away - Find out if it was meant to be

See the want in your eyes sometimes - See the lust when you’re looking at me
See the truth when I look back at you - Get a taste of things and how it could be
Feel the warmth when I move beside you - Feel how hot the fire could be
What if we should come together? - We’d fit so easily
It’s a time bomb, baby
Just waiting to blow
We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go
A time bomb, baby
Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away
Find out if it was meant to be
A time bomb, baby
You can feel it, you know
We don’t have much longer
Before time this all explodes
A time bomb, baby
We’re targets you see
So take my hand, we’ll run away
Leave the world behind
It could be that easy
Want (it’s complicated) - Want (it’s not so easy)
Want (to lose yourself, to let it go, to be with me)
Want you here with me - Want (it’s complicated) - Want (it’s not so easy)
Want (to lose yourself, to let it go, to be with me) - Want you here with me
It’s a time bomb, baby - Just waiting to blow - We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go - A time bomb, baby - Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away - (Find out) - Want you here with me

There are: 10 different reasons why you can’t be mine, yet 9 of them are
useless and 8 I’ve already tried and 7 different ways that this could
turn out but only 6 will remain if you get up and go now, there were
5 different times we’ve had this moment be 4 us at 3 a.m. dreamt I’d
said it before, there were 2 many times we let this moment slip by,
now the time has come, so we should be 1

It’s a time bomb, baby - Just waiting to blow - We can’t wait much longer
Now it’s time, it’s time to go - A time bomb, baby - Between you and me
Take my hand, we’ll run away - Find out if it was meant to be
A time bomb, baby - You can feel it, you know
We don’t have much longer - Before time this all explodes
A time bomb, baby - We’re targets you see
So take my hand, we’ll run away - Leave the world behind
It could be that easy
Track Name: Restless
Restless

I’ve smoked this right to the filter - Burnt everything there was to burn
If there was anything to save, I’ve killed it - I fucked it all up - No, I’ll never learn
Made a habit out of being bitter - Which makes things worse of that I’m sure
I’m finally giving up - I’m through, I’ve had it - There’s nothing left to salvage
Every stone has been turned

Maybe I get bored too easy - Maybe I expect too much - Maybe I have no idea
I may be crazy but I think I’m done - So what now?

We wasted our peak potential - Now we’re stuck stuck in an endless rut
I know I’m jaded in how I view things but it seems so helpless - a cause come undone
I’m sick of selling myself the same lines - To stay complacent I need to stay numb
I’ve exhausted all my options - It’s time to end this nightmare, it’s time I moved on

Maybe I get bored too easy - Maybe I expect too much - Maybe I have no Idea
I may be crazy but my course seems run

I’ve smoked this right to the filter - Burnt everything there was to burn
Made a habit out of being bitter - Which makes things worse of that I’m sure
Maybe I get bored too easy - Maybe I expect too much - Maybe I have no idea
I may be crazy but I think I’m done - So what now?